Not Very Mega Pixel

Der Wilde Mann

I received some post from my very good friend Christina Sophia Dixon the other day, she lives in Austria (as depicted above… apparently she has to wear that outfit by law) and has done for the past 2 years. She seems to do an extraordinary amount of activities over there, most of which involves a certain suspension of disbelief, teenage boys dressed as the devil, covered in animal fat drunkenly beating kids and smacking girls bums with planks of wood in alpine tradition, anyone? I love hearing about all the ridiculous things she gets up to and luckily for me my post from her contained a copy of her new zine, “Graz’s Beat Prancer”. Which is a document of some of her time over in Austria-land, it’s great, i’ve been thoroughly enjoying reading it over the last few days. You should definitely pick yourself up one… unfortunately i have no idea how you’d go about doing this, your best bet is to probably email sweetshopsyndicate@gmail.com maybe?
 
Here’s a snippett of the zine now, to make this post longer and more interesting with less effort from me…

A catalogue of my favourite Austrian names thus far and the characters behind them.

Horst Kaltenegger. Horst teaches English and German at a Gynasium in Graz. His name makes the list because of his admirable character traits. Every Thursday he cycles to the market and buys me fresh apples which taste absolutely amazing. The Thursday apple lifts me from my ‘it’s nearly the weekend but not quite’ funk and ensures I deliver a cracking last lesson. Yes my weekend starts on a Thursday, isn’t that fucking awesome? He also took me to the cinema with his 6th grade class to see Beowulf and he bought me popcorn. He keeps me supplied with English breakfast tea, a product similar to gold dust here in Austria. Horst is a kindly gentleman who has dragged me into the world of school politics because he was ousted as headmaster at one of the other schools I work at. He has told me all kinds of stories about the game of educational chess that was played and how his lack of Catholicism was the reason for his sudden departure. He has blamed the manoeuvring on none other than Werner Pendl, the English teacher that offered to lend me his skis next month. What a predicament!

Willibald Possert. Willy is one of my favourite teachers although I have decided he might be slightly creepy because he alllllways wants to hang out with me after school. I am running out of excuses. However, he is a great teacher and bought me loads of Strongbow at the 8th grade after party. This was generous because Strongbow costs a fortune. Willibald is a hero because he wears tight jackets made either of faux leather or suede coupled with corduroy trousers. He is a coffee dealer in the staff room so he is an essential ally of mine if I intend to be kept in supply. His 8th class are my favourite class by a long shot. It is nearly all boys and he has given them English names to make the class seem more authentic. Seeing a boy called Volker (genuine first name) responding to ‘Henry’ or ‘John’ is rather amusing. They bought me a lot of jagermeister and cocktails at their party, plus they all got naked and danced on the bar in Flan’o’Briens to the Baywatch theme tune. Nearly all of them shave their chests and spend afternoons at the ‘fitness studio’.

 Wolfgang Pickl. Wolfgang speaks in the thickest Styrian dialect I have ever heard, but he is a total legend. Having spent many years in Canada and America he doesn’t really see the benefits of having a British teaching assistant, however, his class consists of nearly all boys aged between 17 and 19. This is good for me because a) boys participate in class and b) they try to impress me so they constantly make jokes and say pseudo-intelligent things, which is great fun. They keep arguing about the spelling of colour though. Boys, it is not Color!

Famous Equation

Another excellent weekend, lots of events and fun including seeing and having the excellent Abe Vigoda, and solid duuuuudes, the Mae Shi over to stay, being a frenchman, watching the highly impressive King Blues, lunch with Peter Miles & co. eating good food (at last), late night brighton wandering, being naughty, looking at a donkey’s penis, staying perfectly still, I even had fun watching the eurovision song contest. I could definitely get used to enjoying myself.
In art related news, this weekend I sold 2 paintings, The Winchat & Rosie and have begun on 2 commissions i have recieved recently… busy, busy. I got some postcard sets made up also and am selling them at the open house (which finishes this weekend) and will flog the rest on this here website after that is done.  ALSO, also I have traded (yet to uphold my end of the bargin… ack) some of my wares for this screenprint by the wonderful Debbie Hill - 

It contains facts, science, edison and lightbulbs. yep, you said it… holy crap. 
So yeah, update over kids. Weekends now have a lot to live up to… hopefully my planned excursion to London (hi guys! i’m coming up!) involving birthdays, karaoke, bowling and the W.O.S. will provide me with the required ingredients.

Rosie

The first time I met Rosie, it was at a new year’s eve party. I was dressed as a disgusting looking hick, was wielding a stolen light-saber and wrote GET FUCKED on her arm. Charming, eh?
 
This painting has been a tricky one for sure, it was a pretty daunting canvas… It’s the biggest painting (it’s 3.5′ x 4.75′) that i’ve completed in a long, long time. There were days when painting it was the last thing I wanted to do but still worked through and there were a few 4/5 hour sessions that were a joy, where the time passed like nothing. A few times i had to force myself to realise parts weren’t working (with a little helpful constructive criticism from friends…) and painted over weeks worth of work in seconds and had to start over again. I thought I was never going to finish it at a few points. I’m really happy with how it has turned out though, i could even go so far as to say it’s the best thing i’ve done, so far… 

Some of the process:

Rosie is also a very talented artist herself… she even completed and got a first in an actual fine art degree incorporating actual drawing and actual painting. I know… crazy. This is the last painting I have up at the Open House, which again is open every saturday and sunday until the end of May. See you there!

Rosie

Rosie (detail)

TCHNLGY

Hey rich, it’s rich. thank you. x

No Fun

One day a child finally plucks up the courage to confront his mother about the fact that every time he walks past the cupboard in the kitchen he smells brandy. One day whilst looking for spices to use whilst cooking he finds several jars filled with vodka, not spices. One day he comes home to find his mother in bed with severe head injuries from falling over. One day after not being at home for months he comes home to find his mother passed out in the front room. Another day he comes home to his mother passed out in the front room. Another day he finds his mother passed out in the spare room. Another day he feeds his mother like a child. One day he opens his bedroom door to his father close to tears dragging his mother up the stairs. One day he talks. Another day he talks again. Years pass and he’s still talking. One day he gets a phone call on the train, his brother finds their mother covered in blood and the kitchen covered in blood. 

 

Panda Eyes

 

Panda Eyes Detail

Misinformation

I’d just like to quickly correct myself… i didn’t go and see Jesse Michaels do a solo set it was his NEW FULL BAND, the Classics Of Love and they were excellent. Drumming eggs.
ALSO, the Open House is only open on the weekends.

 

okokok… that was really bugging me.

On the buses

Righto… 

First things first, I had the wonderful opportunity of being in attendance  at Jesse Michaels first ever UK gig, in someone’s bedroom a 1 minute cycle ride from my house no less… It was great. Now the words ska-punk might fill you with dread and maybe produce a little bit of sick in your mouth BUT listening to Operation Ivy’s record ‘Energy’ was a big part of my youth and I can still see why so many people wanted to follow suit on the ska-punk train… ok? and singing along to the crowd in a packed little bedroom with the guy who wrote the song was pretty special. Cheers Chas. 

Second thing second, I’ve put some paintings up in an Open House in Kemp Town in Brighton. I realised the other day this is the first time i’ve ever exhibited anything since my A-Level art show. Slack. I have a total of 5 paintings up in the house and they’re all for sale. These are 2 of them, i’ll put the rest up later in the week.

Winchat

 

Kingfisher

The house i’m in is on the Kemp Town trail, number 4 on the list – Flat 1A, 14 Grafton Street, Brighton BN2 1 AQ.

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Cheersthen.

x